


Go Forward Slowly

by mshakarios



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, this isn't great but here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 10:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18163748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mshakarios/pseuds/mshakarios
Summary: "The newest member of her crew had taken up residence in the life support room on the crew deck, and although Wren Shepard truly was not sure what she had been anticipating, the drell woman had defied all her expectations nonetheless."(AU where Thane was the one who died and Irikah is your squadmate and bi romance option, light angst with a heaping dose of banter and fluff, Femshep/Irikah.)





	Go Forward Slowly

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this, other than to say that AUs where Irikah is alive are the lifeblood which sustains me and I will singlehandedly generate enough love for this woman to make up for the entire fandom ignoring her. 
> 
> And yes, I will pick and choose the things I liked about the comic she appeared in and discard the rest. 
> 
> Wren Shepard is my main Shep Emmett's older sister, this is an AU where she's Commander Shepard (TM) and Emmett, while not mentioned in this fic, is just her annoying probably-a-civilian brother who definitely still ends up with Garrus. 
> 
> This isn't my best writing and I'm not particularly proud of it, but I did work on it for a long-ass time, so I've decided to post it anyway.

The newest member of her crew had taken up residence in the life support room on the crew deck, and although Wren Shepard truly was not sure what she had been anticipating, the drell woman had defied all her expectations nonetheless. 

Her dossier, like all the others, had been straightforward and impartial. Dr. Irikah Krios, a brilliant scientist who worked on Kahje for years developing vaccines and treatments for hanar and drell illnesses. Wren had wondered aloud to no one in particular why the crew needed another scientist, before reading on and discovering that Dr. Krios had ended her career in medicine over a decade ago. Some incident had caused her to abruptly leave her old life behind, traveling the galaxy and single-mindedly honing her combat skills. She had taken many jobs as an assassin, and it was on one of these assignments that Wren and her squad had finally found her, taking down some slaver with practiced ease. She had agreed to join the crew, mentioning something about her mission being completed and glancing down at the body of her target with an unreadable expression that intrigued Wren, possibly more than it should have. 

The doctor, as Wren came to find in the weeks that followed, carried herself with an undeniable and unapologetic presence. She was tall and statuesque; easily six feet in height, only an inch or two taller than the Commander herself. Looking over the other woman’s cobalt blue scales and the orange markings that brought out her vivid red-orange eyes, Wren thought to herself that it was a good thing Irikah liked commanding such a presence; if she ever wanted to blend in, she would have found it rather difficult. Wren felt a twinge of familiarity as she thought about how relatable that concept was, thinking back to the early days of her transition. There was something about this woman, the way she smiled, the way she spoke, the way she carried herself, that left Wren desperate to see more of her.

\-------------------------

“Y’know, you haven’t really told me anything about yourself,” Wren remarked one day as the two sat together in the life support room. 

“I’ve told you plenty!” Irikah’s rich voice had a slight teasing edge to it as she looked at the Commander with mock offense. “You come in almost every day now, I’d be a really shitty conversation partner if I didn’t talk to you, wouldn’t I?”

“Oh, you talk, sure. About impersonal stuff. You go into those flashbacks about missions, old stories from the lab, other work related stuff. No personal stories. You say a lot, but you don’t really _tell_ me much about yourself.”

“What if I told you that I’m really just that boring? And there’s not much to tell other than work?”

“I’d say you were lying. Really, no friends to speak of? No family? You hear me talk about my family all the time.” 

“Family is...a sore subject.”

Wren’s expression softened. 

“See, that’s _something_ at least.” 

“Is there any reason why you’re so invested in this?” 

“Besides wanting to know the person watching my back in a firefight?” Wren flashed her a winning grin. “You’re one of the most fascinating women I’ve met in a long time. I know there’s more to you than what you’ve told me, and I just wish you’d open up a bit.”

“ _Fascinating_? Interesting choice of words. Is that why you come down here so often? Trying to get me to ‘open up,’ huh?”

“You’re deflecting again.”

“And you’re asking questions that you won’t like the answers to.” Irikah sighed softly, giving Wren a sad little smile. “I like you, Shepard. You’re good company, and I admire your devotion to your crew. But trust me when I say that there’s nothing in my life that you would want to hear about.” 

“I want to know anyway. Because I care about you.” The words came out more honest than Wren had intended, and she spluttered to backtrack. “I mean, just like I...y’know...care about the rest of my crew.” 

“Very convincing.”

“Please, when you’re ready, just...consider letting me in. I can tell you’ve been through a lot, and I don’t know if I can help, but I’ll try my best.”

Irikah was silent for a long moment.

“Thank you, Shepard.”

\-------------------------

“Hey. Brought you some more coffee.” Wren placed one of the steaming mugs in front of her companion before taking her usual seat across from her at the table. Irikah smiled, setting her datapad aside. 

“These are the thrilling tasks in the day-to-day life of a Council Spectre, huh? Bringing her crew coffee in the middle of the night?”

“Well, it’s either that or try to convince you to go to sleep, and I know you well enough by now to tell that that’s a lost cause.” 

Irikah snorted softly.

“You sound like my husband.” 

Wren, holding her own cup of coffee, froze halfway through the motion of raising it to her lips.

“Oh.” She searched for a proper response, wishing that the information hadn’t caught her so completely by surprise. “I, uh...well, I wouldn’t have flirted with you if I knew you were married.” She winced; that was the wrong thing to say. 

Irikah stared stony-faced into her mug for a moment, considering her words before saying them.

“He’s dead. Murdered. It’s been over ten years now.” She braced herself, taking a slow breath. “Thane was an assassin, for almost his whole life. He made plenty of enemies over the years, and eventually he...well, it caught up with him.”

“Ten years ago? That was when you…” Wren trailed off, her mind racing to connect the dots with what she knew of the other woman’s history. 

“Yeah. When I quit my job and started traveling all across the galaxy to find them. When they killed him, I...I couldn’t just let them get away with it.” She shook her head. “My husband was a good man, Shepard. He wasn’t perfect, but I loved him. He was trained as an assassin from childhood; he never had a choice. No one ever taught him anything else. He was...he was trying to stop. To leave that life behind for me, and for our son.” 

“Your son?”

Irikah hung her head, and Wren thought she could see tears in the other woman’s eyes.

“Kolyat was just a child when his father was killed...he didn’t understand. And I couldn’t keep him with me, not with what I was planning to do. I left him with my sister...I wanted to go back and see him, I wanted it so badly, but I just...I couldn’t. I couldn’t face him.” She was silent for a moment. “I guess he lost both of us on that day.” 

“So you...tracked down the people who killed your husband?” 

“Not at first. I wouldn’t have stood a chance against them at that point. I started out by learning to fight, then started taking freelance assassination jobs. It took a while before I was ready. But by that time, I was damn good.” She chuckled humorlessly, the sadness clear in her eyes. “I wonder sometimes what my husband would think of me now.”

“I’m sure he’d be proud of you…”

“No, he wouldn’t. I know him better than that. Thane spent his entire life surrounded by violence. He told me that I was the first person to show him that he could be more than just a killer. I was a doctor; I saved lives, I didn’t take them. The first time he saw me, I had parked myself square in his rifle’s scope to save a salarian who I’d never met from being shot in the head. The first time he spoke to me, I yelled at him for who he was and the things he did. And now...I’m the same person he was then. A killer.” 

A long moment passed, both women sitting at the table silently. When Wren finally spoke, her voice was soft.

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it’s like to carry all of this around with you.”

“I remember every moment, Shepard. Every second I spent with my husband...the moment I found out I’d lost him...all the pain of leaving my son behind. It’s with me, always.” 

Wren took her hand gently.

“If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I’m always here.”

Irikah took a moment to compose herself, wiping her eyes with a quick motion of her arm before giving Wren a small smile. 

“Yeah, I know. You never leave.” 

“What do you want me to do?” Wren teased. “Stop looking after my crew?”

“I never said I _wanted_ you to leave.”

\-------------------------

“Writing another letter to Kolyat?” Wren asked casually, resting a hand on Irikah’s shoulder as she walked up behind where the other woman sat. “How are things going?”

“Not easy. We’re working on it, though.” Irikah smiled and let Wren take her hand as the human took a seat across from her. “You know, I never got the chance to thank you, Shepard. I wouldn’t have reached him in time if it wasn’t for you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. This was important; I had to help.”

“No, you didn’t have to. There’s a billion other problems in the galaxy that need fixing, and you chose to help me find my son.”

“Well, of course I did.” Wren smiled. “You mean a lot to me, in case you couldn’t tell.”

“What, really? Why, Shepard, I hadn’t noticed. I thought you just came down here every day because of your intense fascination with the ship’s life support systems.”

“Nope; I know it must be a surprise to learn this, but I secretly just love spending time with you.” 

“Mmm. Shocking.” Irikah set her datapad to the side, her orange eyes studying Wren’s bright smile and teasing expression. “You’re in a good mood today.”

“Of course I am. I’m spending time with my girl.” 

“Oh? Am I ‘your girl’ now?” 

“W-Well, I mean, I didn’t mean it like -- well, unless you wanted me to -- oh, fuck. I really don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“You know what.”

“Yeah, but I wanna hear you say it.” 

“If I do, will you wipe that smug grin off your face?”

“Probably not, but it’s worth a shot.”

Wren snorted, but smiled back. 

“Fine. I’m not great at flirting. Especially when it’s with a beautiful, smart, ultra-competent woman I like a hell of a lot, who makes me laugh, watches my back in fights, and has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. You happy now?” 

“Oh, very.” 

The smug grin was still on her face. Deciding to try an alternate approach, Wren leaned forward across the table and pulled her into a kiss, long and slow and gentle. After a long moment they separated, their faces still close as Wren brushed her thumb gently over a few of the orange freckles that stood out against the blue scales of Irikah’s face. 

“We can take it slow if you want,” Wren murmured gently. “I don’t want to rush you into a relationship or anything.”

“No, I want this. It’s been long enough...I need to try to be happy again.”

“Then I sure hope I can make you happy.”

Irikah leaned in for another kiss, whispering against Wren’s lips right before they met her own. 

“You already do, Wren.”


End file.
